Every parent always has a certain set of expectations for their kids. You might not say it that way, but you do. You have a confident anticipation for your kids’ present and their future. You hope they will create the best life for themselves as they grow older and move out on their own. 

What about their faith?

When you looked into your child’s eyes for the first time, what expectations did you have? Okay, none. Dude, your kid was just born; how in the world could you even dream of having any expectations? Let’s not fail parenting on day one. 

But the reality is (whether you want to admit it or not), as your kids grow up, you maintain a certain level of expectation. And as a parent, you invest time, money, and energy into those said expectations. 

Some of our expectations are intentional and active, and some are completely passive. 

Go to a weekend soccer game or a Friday night football game. How many parents can you point out that believe their kid is the, or has the potential to be, the star athlete? How many parents do you know who invest thousands of dollars or more in the best coaches, equipment, and travel expenses to ensure their kid has every opportunity available? The proof isn’t just in the screaming of every soccer mom; it’s in the financial commitments we make and the expectations we set for our kids to become what we believe they can be. If we are honest with ourselves, we would admit that our kid’s academic, athletic, or otherwise performance is primarily based on what we believe is possible for them. 

I get it. I’m just as bad. We are a racing family. My 8-year-old son drives a race car with his hair on fire at nearly 50 mph. I believe he has a knack for it. I genuinely believe he could make a career from racing. And to see his dream become anything close to reality, I had to invest tens of thousands in just his first year of racing. In many ways, I catch myself expecting that outcome. But I have to constantly remind myself that that’s not the point.

When it comes to athletics and academics (for the most part), we, as parents, are good at setting active and intentional expectations. “I expect you to go to practice, listen to your coach, and put the work in. If I’m investing in this, then so are you.” Overall, it’s a good lesson for our kids to learn. 

But what about our expectations when it comes to our faith? 

What is your expectation when you consider your investment into your kids’ faith? When do you expect them to understand Jesus and salvation? 

• When do you expect them to own their faith? 
• How much do you expect them to study the Word?
• How much do you believe they should be practicing their faith? 

In more than 20 years of working with students and parents, what I see all the time is a very lax approach to guiding our kids down the right path. I see contentment with kids being good people, achieving financial success, academic achievement, and, yes, athletic glory. But faith serves as a bonus rather than a non-negotiable. In everything else, I’ll stop at nothing to see their hopes and dreams realized, but faith? Let the cards fall where they may. Sports? I’ll quit my job before I miss a practice. Chance to go on a mission trip? We just can’t afford that right now. 

Now, don’t hear me wrong. I’m not trying to shame you. We are all in this together, and we are all guilty of it. We gravitate to what we can control. I can spend hours teaching my son to play football because I played and coached. I’m confident in it. I’m guessing you feel the same way. 

But how confident are you in communicating your faith to your kids? 

Faith can be obscure and filled with unknowns and doubt, which is precisely why we rely so heavily on the church to do the job. 

But here’s the thing. It’s not the church’s job to do it for us. It’s only their job to help. We are the coach, we are in charge, and we are responsible for the kids God gave us. So, it’s time we elevate our expectations for how our kids grow up and live out their faith. 

It’s time we raised the bar and set new expectations for our families. Our lives should be nothing short of being the people God has called us to be and fully committing to the Great Commission. We need to take the initiative and become the change we want to see.

We must be intentional in our actions and focus on making an impact.

We must be bold and courageous in our faith. We must be willing to take risks and challenge the status quo. We must be willing to go against the current and stand up for our beliefs. We must be willing to sacrifice and do whatever is necessary to bring glory to God. 

And pass that drive on to our kids. 

So take a second today and ask yourself these three questions: 

• When you think of your kids’ faith as they move from childhood to adulthood, do you have a game plan to help them make the most of their journey? 
• What are you prepared to sacrifice or invest in to give your kids every possible advantage? 
• What resources do you need as a parent to make it happen? 

Is it time to invest in the Discipleship Project?

Let’s be clear, however. This is not easy. Some days, you will dance around the house celebrating a parenting win and the next wallowing in defeat. You need community, resources, and permission to be honest about the journey. Parenting is quite literally the hardest job on the planet. Raising tiny humans to learn to resist the sinful nature they are born with seems an impossible task. Because with Jesus and the community around us, it is. 

I have been thinking about and designing the Discipleship Project for over a decade. I am trying desperately to figure out what parents need and how I can help. While this is still an in-process journey, it is time to move forward. Your investment helps to make every resource, class, blog post, video, and cultural analysis possible. I want to provide these resources as accessible as possible, so I am relying on a minority of people to help fund what we do for the more significant majority. 

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